there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
