dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
