In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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