Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
