do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
