They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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