Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
