brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
