Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
