Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
