Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
