Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
