Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
