If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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