Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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