Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.

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(914): View more from New York

she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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(646): View more from New York

Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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(+61): View more from Australia

She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.

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(646): View more from New York

I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

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(203): View more from Connecticut

nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body

(508): View more from Massachusetts

how many servings is brandon's dick?

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(302): View more from Delaware

didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.

(317): View more from Indiana

It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.

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