She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
