He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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