never play flip cup with pint glasses
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
