Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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