Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
