Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
