I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
