so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
