hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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