Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
