is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
