man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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