you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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