Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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