Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
