My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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