dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
