Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
