Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
