the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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