@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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