Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
