i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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