Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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