Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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