you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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