don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
