I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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