finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
