I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my shit smells like andre
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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