so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
