haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
