Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
