I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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